On a snowy day in November, while my daughter Kit and I were organizing four boxes of Christmas tree decorations, memories of past losses and the absence of children who were once part of our lives resurfaced. Over the years, our family had welcomed and bid farewell to 23 foster children. Amidst the temporary placements, both of our children were adopted. Sorting through the ornaments, I was surprised to see how Kit remembered the stories behind each handmade decoration, even those crafted by unfamiliar hands. It became apparent that her recollections of past holiday moments differed from mine.
As I unpacked a box, a tree topper from our early days as newlyweds caught my eye. The iridescent angel bore a crack between its wings and body, held together by Krazy Glue, mirroring the fragility of our marriage. Passing the angel to Kit, I hesitated, unsure if she would want it in its delicate state. To my delight, her eyes lit up beneath a festive reindeer hat as she eagerly accepted the angel, reminiscing about her childhood desire to be the one to crown the tree.
Another ornament, a Santa sleigh and reindeer crafted by an eight-year-old boy we once fostered, evoked a mix of emotions in me. It was a poignant reminder of the boy’s time in our home, cut short by a court decision that prevented us from maintaining contact. Kit, sensing my somber mood, took the ornament from my hands, fondly recalling how it had always held a special place on the tree during her childhood.
Our approach to the holidays with our foster children was rooted in inclusivity and love. We adjusted our Christmas traditions to ensure the children could spend time with their families on the most significant days, while still feeling connected to our home. Each child received a unique ornament, symbolizing our time together, with the option to leave it with us as a memento or take it along when they moved on. This practice led to the Santa and reindeer ornament made by our eight-year-old foster son finding a permanent spot among our decorations.
Unwrapping a reindeer ornament made of pompoms, ribbon, and googly eyes, memories of my children’s early years resurfaced. The quirky ornaments, lovingly dubbed “Big Balls” by my son, held sentimental value, symbolizing shared moments of joy and laughter within our family.
Reflecting on past divisions of ornaments during a previous separation, I realized the significance of these decorations in our family’s journey. Kit’s poignant reflections on the ornaments highlighted the resilience and lessons learned from our past experiences.
As we embark on decorating the tree this year, I anticipate a shift in perspective, as Kit’s joyful recounting of our shared memories takes precedence over any lingering sadness. I eagerly look forward to witnessing her unique tree adorned with our cherished ornaments.